Get something on paper first – only then start talking

There are three types of meetings and interactions with people (I’m sure the official literature has more, but for me, it comes down to these three critical archetypes):

1. Brainstorming – You have no idea what to do, and you need as many ideas as possible from everyone.
2. Making decisions – You have a plan or are pretty close to a plan and just need to get over the final step of making a decision.
3. Informing – This is presenting out. All options have been evaluated, and now it’s only about reporting out on those.

…and then there’s the fourth variety: the unstructured “let’s just talk it over” meeting where you go wild across all types, everyone talks, and no one listens, and with all likelihood, the group will spend most of the time in a deep rat hole on a minor topic, completely missing the bigger picture (while 90% of the attendees tune out).

Let’s not have that last type of interaction; it’s not fun.

We all know how to run “Informing” meetings: you collect all the facts you can remember, organize them into a logical story flow, and build a nice PPT to walk folks through the evolution of thoughts that got you where you are. Bonus points if you make it look good (design matters) and throw a fun joke or two in there to lighten up the mood.

Most of us also know how to do “Brainstorming” meetings: you need a lot of Post-Its, a big white wall, a framing question, and off you go. Make sure to collect inputs and avoid getting locked in any one of the ideas – you want to go quick to gather a wide perspective instead of dwelling in deep details. Also, make sure that you proactively include quieter participants. Easy peasy and always fun as no one needs to make any commitments at this stage.

But how about “Making decisions”, when we do need to get people to make commitments?

This is harder as most people would much rather talk about inconsequential ‘What-ifs’ than making a decision that will lead them to commit and being accountable for outcomes. In the “making decisions” phase, meetings have a high propensity to be derailed by semi-related questions that come out of the blue or by digging into very deep discussions on very small subjects until all available time is spent.

A good – if not the best – way to keep decision meetings focused, structured, and moving forward, is to bring written content to the meeting. The written word has gravity, and seeing a document keeps everyone on topic. Of course, you need to share this document in the meeting so that everyone sees it on the screen as you guide through discussions, and everyone can also see how decisions get added to the document as the discussion progresses. That visibility and documentation allow you to keep people moving forward and to dwarf any attempts of going back to things that were already decided. It takes time and energy to prepare a strong written document, but the effort will pay off many times in decision-making meetings.

If you want to convince, you need to start writing!

A word of caution: this approach and this type of meeting are focused on narrowing down an information funnel and coming to decisions. Employ them at the right time(s) of a project. It’s not an effective way to gather as many ideas, questions, and concerns as possible – for that, you need to have a brainstorming meeting, and you need to hold yourself back from the temptation of providing initial ideas.

A blank page creates ideas. A written (draft) plan focuses discussions.

Widen the funnel with brainstorming meetings, shrink it with decision-making meetings. Never mix up the two!! You cannot do both in the same meeting.

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Lessons from Amazon, a global pandemic, and other crazy times
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Leadership styles and developing agility in how you lead

Last week, we discussed how important it is to develop communication agility and to pick the right communication modality for the situation and intended outcome.

It’s equally, if not more important, to develop a similarly broad range of leadership techniques and styles. Specifically, your leadership style should look very different, depending on its direction in the hierarchy.

The sad story is that most people got it backward: they ask their management what to do and prescribe their reports what they want them to do. – This is WRONG!!

As a leader, you need to ask the people closest to a topic for options and solutions. You need to take their inputs to weigh decisions, not the other way around. Likewise, as a team member, you should not ask your manager what to do for a situation where you have more information than they do.

Of course, some decisions are better made top-down, specifically if they require a broad view and understanding that goes beyond the project owner (i.e., dependencies to related projects or higher-level organizational priorities. However, those are rather the exception than the rule.

As a general rule, if you communicate upwards, you should communicate initiative and solutions. If you communicate down the chain, you should communicate curiosity and desire to learn.

Managing your manager (communicating upwards)

You have the most complete, accurate, and detailed knowledge of your area. You will have more ideas on what to change and how to improve the status quo than anyone else. Bring that forward, don’t hold it back!

If you ask your manager what you should do, you will get direction all right, but it might not be based on the most robust foundation of facts. Instead, it is your job as owner and leader to provide direction and proposals!

You know your stuff – go lead and tell your management what needs to get done!

Engaging your team (communicating downwards)

If you are a manager and leader (people management or project) it is easy to think that you know all the answers. That’s what got you into the position in the first place, right? Wrong!!

You might have been the smartest IC (individual contributor) on the block, but that was before you got one or several levels removed from the actual work. You’re not the one who has the most facts anymore. Your decisions are at risk to be more gut-based than what your team would recommend – listen to them!!

Hold yourself back and trust your team. Encourage them to bring their ideas forward and listen to them intently. The less you speak, and the more you listen, the better off everyone will be.

If you apply the same style all the time – regardless of which one it is – you will fail to lead efficiently 50% of the time. You need to adapt your style, and critically, you need to do it the counterintuitive way:

Tell your boss. Ask your team.

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Lessons from Amazon, a global pandemic, and other crazy times
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
ISBN 9798718017663

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If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Communication agility

Being an effective communicator is critical for being successful in today’s world. Gone are the days where we lived alone on our farms – everything is interconnected today and requires collaboration and with that, effective communication.

The key to such effective communication is to know how to communicate when. We talked about making the content of your communications relevant before – now let’s talk about the tools of communication.

It’s imperative to have a diverse portfolio of such tools at your hands and to know how and when to use them. Don’t be a one-trick pony! Instead, you need to pick and choose the best method of communication deliberately based on the circumstances and on what you want to achieve.

Not all communication mechanisms are equal. Each one of them works marvelously in certain situations, and fails miserably in others. For example chat and texting is effective in ‘interrupting’ someone for urgent information that needs to be acted upon right now. Do it to me for too many times in non-urgent situations and you will be muted for good. Similarly, email is great to asynchronous communications that require thought and time. However, don’t expect me to respond to an email within the hour.

Don’t be a one-trick pony. Have a rich toolbox and know which tool to use when.

You can ask yourself three questions to determine the best communication method for a given situation:

What does the topic require?

Is my request urgent or is there some time to get an answer? Do I need synchronous (right now) or asynchronous (when the other person has time) communication? Must I interrupt the other person, or can I let them answer at their leisure? Does the topic need explanation?

If your topic is not urgent, grant the other person the control over when they want to answer. Let them plan their time and set proper expectation by sending your request or information over email.

If on the other hand you need to solve an urgent matter and time is off the essence, use a more real-time and synchronous communication channel like chat, text, or a phone call. What channel that should be depends on your organization’s culture. However use them sparsely and only if needed. Synchronous real-time communication interrupts the other person, disrupts whatever they were focused on at the time. Use it sparsely or you will piss them off over time.

Lastly, if your topic requires more explanation, it is likely better to talk in person. Schedule a meeting to discuss the topic in detail. If it is urgent, send a chat first and ask for a good time to schedule a meeting in short time.

What best serves the relationship?

Know the communication preference of your partner. If they are more introverted they will prefer written communication, if they are more extroverted they will appreciate the opportunity to meet and talk. Try to accommodate that preference if you can – sometimes that might require you to give up your preference.

Quick information and updates can be well served over email, which also saves time for all involved parties.

Building relationship and a foundation for partnering can only be done in person.

Know your tools and use them wisely!

• Email – Great for asynchronous information sharing that saves time for everyone.
• Chat/phone call – Interruptive but ensures quick attention and turnaround. It disrupts the other persons so use it wisely!
• Meeting/video conference – Great for more complex discussions and building relationship. Plan ahead and respect times that are already blocked for the other person.

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Did you like this post? Want to read more? Check out our newest book!

Thriving in High-Pressure Environments
Lessons from Amazon, a global pandemic, and other crazy times
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
ISBN 9798718017663

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If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Evolve your leadership style

Today I’m going to dive a little into one of my favorite topics: leading people, teams, and project groups.

As I’ve said many times before, we are all leaders in one capacity or another. Leadership, like so many others, is a skill that needs to be developed. Usually, people go through three stages when trying to get other folks to do something for them:

Stage 1 | Supervising | Task-oriented

This stage is all about telling others what to do, when to do it, and then auditing the outcomes.

It’s where we all start, but quite frankly, it’s not very effective. For once, it requires you to know exactly what needs to be done. As you take on more responsibilities, new areas, or problem spaces, that will not be the case anymore – others will know much more about specific areas than you do. It also requires a LOT of time and handholding from you, meaning it’s fundamentally not scalable. Finally, it only works if you have authority over the other person – why else would they care about what you tell them to do?

New managers with small teams usually show that leadership style.

Stage 2 | Managing | Process-oriented

This stage moves the focus away from telling people what to do and towards establishing goals and processes.

The leader moves away from the tasks and towards defining the way in which things need to be done, as well as the specific outcomes that need to be achieved. This stage is somewhere in-between – hopefully, it’s a transition stage and not where you’ll settle. It’s still directive in nature but moves the focus from tasks to outcomes and processes. It still requires lots of auditing and falls short of genuine trust for the team.

This model provides relief for the manager as teams start to grow from the initial small group. However, it still falls short of unlocking the true potential in your team as it depends a lot on you setting the goals and processes and then monitoring and enforcing them.

Management is halfway down the path to leadership but not quite there. The next step is the hardest as it requires giving up control and ego.

Stage 3 | Leading | People-oriented

This is where the magic happens. It’s all about the enablement of others, not about what you do.

Instead of knowing everything, this stage acknowledges that the wisdom lies in the team and n unlocking that wisdom. Instead of defining the ‘what’ and ‘how’, leadership at this stage is much more about developing shared purpose, team values, and rules for collaboration.

It’s a tough stage, as it requires you not to be the smartest kid on the block and rather take a backseat. However, the impact is enormous as that approach opens up space for others to step up and contribute. The more you trust the team and have them lead the path, the bigger the overall impact will be. You have to check your ego at the door, and not every manager is ready to do that, but once you do, things will really take off. (If you don’t you will be stuck in the manager stage for the rest of your career.)

This might sound a little theoretical and maybe not applicable to your current situation. It’s not. We all apply leadership styles all the time – dealing with coworkers, running projects, leading teams, or just trying to manage our families and convincing our kids to make better decisions. You will achieve the best results if you can shift your interactions from supervising to leading. Sometimes you will need to start at supervising and go through managing to lay the proper foundation, but your goal should always be to get to leadership.

As you tackle new challenges, turn around the typical approach that you have been taught and instead follow this sequence to solve the problem:

People first, then process, tasks come last.

Engage the people you’re working with first. Then define processes together. Lastly, let them drive tasks the way they deem most appropriate.

Here’s a little back of the napkin drawing that I scribbled to visualize the difference for myself:

Managers prescribe, leaders encourage.

Managers are anxious, leaders trust.

Managers need to control, leaders look for positive surprises.

Be a leader in your interactions with others!

Once you’ve tried a leadership approach, you will find the other two pretty limiting and boring.

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Did you like this post? Want to read more? Check out our newest book!

Thriving in High-Pressure Environments
Lessons from Amazon, a global pandemic, and other crazy times
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
ISBN 9798718017663

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If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

To lead means to ask good questions

I had several discussions this week about dealing with conflict situations or getting someone on board with a plan. It’s funny how similar leadership issues seem to cluster at certain times. Those discussions all ended up in exploring the importance and power of asking questions. So let’s dive a little into why asking questions is so critical and so powerful for us as leaders – and we all are leaders! We lead projects, we lead (virtual) teams, we lead families, we lead partnerships, and many more…

As a leader, asking good questions that guide deeper understanding is a critical skill. Of course, it needs to be paired with the patience and desire to ‘listen to understand’ (instead of listening to identify an opening where we can jump in with our own monologue). You don’t ask questions to show off – you ask questions to understand.

As a matter of fact, what usually marks the transition from a manager to a leader is the change in how they interact with their direct reports, peers, and bosses:

A manager gives direction; a leader asks questions and guides understanding.
A manager (thinks he) has all the answers; a leader knows what questions need to be asked.
A manager is the superstar; a leader develops everyone around her into superstars.

There are many benefits in asking guiding and insight-seeking questions instead of rambling about your opinions. Here are the three most important ones:

I. You broaden your understanding (Decision making)

Let’s start with the hard truth: You don’t know everything!

You may be as smart as they come – you still just can’t know everything. You won’t know all the details, you will miss the specific context, and you don’t have the specific perspective that others bring in based on their personal experience and background.

As a leader, your job is to make good decisions. So ask questions and LISTEN! Gather as much diverse data as you possibly can. Listen to what you hear, then think about the next good question to ask. Don’t try to shine as a superbrain by asking tough questions – listen, digest, and then ask for what additional information and perspective is needed.

Your goal is to gather diverse data that challenge your opinions and biases. Ask the right questions to gather that data and listen to what you are given back in return. A good answer is a gift that you should cherish!

At some point, it will be you who needs to make the call – try to gather as much unbiased information as you can before you take that step. However, once you do, it’s your call – allow for new information as you go along, but  don’t allow second-guessing of your decision based on the existing information.

II. You encourage thinking (Coaching)

By asking questions, you guide critical thinking. You point out areas that might need further investigation or reflection, or you draw out important additional information and insights that weren’t shared yet.

By doing so, you walk your partner through your thought models. You help them think about their own opinions from a different angle and more holistically. You help improve their thinking and decision making, leading to better plans and strategies.

Best of all, if you only communicate your grand plan, you will not teach your partner anything. They get a black-box solution and won’t understand what led to that solution. If you lead them to the rigth solution with your questions, you share your thought process and let them experience and practice it on a concrete example. Instead of giving an answer, you have taught a thought model. You showed how to fish, instead of just handing over the fish.

III. You are in control of the flow (Negotiating)

While the first two scenarios and reasons for being the one who asks the questions are more focused on finding a solution, this last one is more about being effective when you have a plan and just need to get it done against resistance.

Our typical reaction when we run into resistance is to defend our plan and thinking. The more resistance we encounter, the wordier we get. We get into the defense and dig a deeper and deeper hole for ourselves. As we are trying to explain our position, we are always a step behind – it’s easy for the other person to just question our opinion and keep us on our toes, explaining and defending until we doubt ourselves.

Asking good questions instead allows us to get out of the defensive position and take control of the flow of the discussion.

Instead of saying “…but I really believe that we should do X, as I said, we have looked at all the data…”, start asking, “Well, I would like to understand better why you think this won’t work. Can you walk me through the challenges you see and how you think we could overcome those challenges.”

Asking good questions and genuinely listening to what you hear are some of the most powerful tools to make you more effective and a better leader and collaborator. Practice and sharpen those tools whenever you can!

And here’s a quote from Jack Welch in closing:

“When you are an individual contributor, you try to have all the answers. When you are a leader, your job is to have all the questions.” – Jack Welch

PS to the quote above: I actually don’t think YOU have to have all the questions. Your job is to make sure all the right questions get asked – no matter whether they come from you or from your teammates. You foster those questions. You don’t have to provide all of them.

More great quotes on the importance of leading with questions: https://leadingwithquestions.com/latest-news/my-top-ten-favorite-leading-with-questions-quotes/

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Did you like this post? Want to read more? Check out our newest book!

Thriving in High-Pressure Environments
Lessons from Amazon, a global pandemic, and other crazy times
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
ISBN 9798718017663

Find it on Amazon: Paperback, Kindle

If you like what you’re reading, please consider leaving a review on Amazon. If you don’t like it, please tell us what we can do better the next time. As self-published authors we don’t have the marketing power of big publishing houses. We rely on word of mouth endorsements through reader reviews.

Ownership

One of the things that define how Amazon runs its business is what they call the Leadership principles. These principles are treated like religion. They define daily business processes, project priorties, how decisions are made, and apparently, they work really well for the company’s success. Those leadership principles are also widely regarded as operational blueprints for many startups. Over my time with Amazon, I learned to love some of them, see the value in others, and realize that a critical one was missing (I’ll tell you that secret over a beer if you’re interested).

Since those Leadership principles are universally applicable and useful, I will pick a specific one every now and then and share its official description as well as my personal take and experience. As always, I would love your thoughts, feedback, and differing point of view.

Ownership

Leaders are owners. They think long term and don’t sacrifice long-term value for short-term results. They act on behalf of the entire company, beyond just their own team. They never say “that’s not my job.”

To me, ownership is probably the most important one of the leadership principles. It is so important because it defines how we approach our jobs. Are we just in to tick off hours and collect a paycheck, or do we deeply care about what we’re doing and want to positively impact our field, our customers, and our co-workers?

For that reason, in my mind, ownership is also closely linked to the three pillars that drive job satisfaction (purpose, autonomy, and mastery). If we don’t step up and take personal ownership, we will not feel any control over these three pillars either.

Ownership means caring about what we do. Ownership means not waiting to be told what we should focus on but proactively assessing our space all the time and moving forward with the things that matter most. Ownership is the difference between looking at the clock ticking away versus looking at your customers and thinking through how you can improve their lives.

Ownership is also about being in control, which again, is one of the key drivers for job satisfaction as well as one of the key things that cause burnout if it’s lacking. If you don’t show ownership and take control, someone else will fill the void for you and tell you what to do.

Always remember:

Ownership is taken, not granted!

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Check out our book for more thoughts and a week-by-week guide to make strategic changes to improve your health, career, and life purpose:

Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
A practical guide to living healthier, happier and more successful in 52 weekly steps
By Alfons and Ulrike Staerk
ISBN 9781077278929

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